Explore the power of kindness, learn how to 'pay it forward', and reflect on your experiences through journalling
From giving someone flowers to telling a friend how much they matter to you, being kind can make everyone’s day.
Does it boost your mood when a stranger holds the door open for you? Maybe you get a warm feeling inside when a friend shares their homemade cookies. Or perhaps you experience a sense of happiness when you do something kind for someone else, such as giving up your seat on the bus for an older person or paying a pal a compliment.
Positive feedback
Spreading kindness helps everyone. ‘There’s evidence that doing nice things for people can make us feel even better than doing the same for ourselves,’ says Marianne, a clinical psychologist. ‘The advantages of these kind acts are many, and they can leave us feeling happy, excited, and valued.’
Research suggests that showing goodwill to others can enhance mental health and wellbeing by reducing stress and improving mood, self-esteem, and happiness. The scientific evidence supporting the benefits of being kind is so convincing that many health and wellbeing services recommend caring behaviour, too.
‘Help others’ is one of the suggestions listed on the 5waystowellbeing.org.au website. The guide explains that acts of kindness create positive feelings that reward you with a sense of purpose and self-worth. They also help you build relationships and connect with other people.
One good turn
Whether it’s simply seeing a smiling face or receiving an offer of help with homework, individuals thrive in all kinds of ways when they’re on the receiving end of a good deed. ‘Kind acts leave people feeling considered, appreciated, and worthwhile,’ says Marianne. ‘Kindness can be a really refreshing change and help people restore their faith in humans more widely, too.’
Although showing kindness isn’t about receiving a reward in return, sometimes people will want to acknowledge what you’ve done for them. ‘People like to say thank you, so don’t be tempted to minimise your kindness. Be gracious and accept the gratitude,’ says Marianne. Responding with ‘You’re welcome’ or ‘I was glad to help’ is all part of spreading goodwill. There can also be a wider ripple effect. If someone is kind to another person, it might encourage and motivate the other person to behave selflessly as well, then that person might do the same, and so on…
Dig deep
You probably already show some kindness to others in your day-to-day life, but exploring what that means through journalling can help to nurture that generosity.
- Write about the type of events or interactions that make you feel good. ‘My top tip is to think about what helps you feel supported or encouraged in any given situation,’ says Marianne. ‘When we’re tuned in to how we’d
like to be treated, it can help shape what sort of kind acts we extend to others.’ - Jot down how you felt during and after these demonstrations of friendliness.
- Write a list of ways to do something similar for someone else.
- Make a note of times you’ve shown kindness to others in the past.
- Write down ways you could weave more acts like these into your day. There are likely to be some small things you can do, as well as bigger actions.
Pay it forward
If you’re keen to get started but need a little kind-spiration, these easy gestures are guaranteed to leave others feeling pleased:
- Gift a good read. Leave a book you’ve enjoyed in a public place, like a café or park bench, for someone else to find. You could also add a note, explaining it’s for anyone who likes the look of it. Entice them by adding a few lines describing why you loved reading it.
- Compliment a friend. Mention how much you enjoyed hearing them play an instrument or explain how impressed you were by their delicate handling of a tricky situation.
- Volunteer for a good cause. Choose an issue you care about in your community. Could you pitch in to plant trees at a local nature reserve or take part in a beach clean-up project?
- Acknowledge people who go the extra mile. This could mean thanking a teacher for their help when you were struggling with a homework task or remembering to go back and chat to a librarian who suggested a great book for you.
- Make a cuppa. If you’re brewing yourself a hot drink, offer to make one for others, too. Most people appreciate someone putting the kettle on.
- Look for changes to be friendly. Smile at someone who serves you in a shop or ask them how their day’s going. Little interactions like this can brighten someone’s mood. You might also find yourself having interesting conversations in the process.
- Fundraise for a charity. Pick a cause that matters to you or a loved one. Be it taking part in a bake sale or a sponsored run, there are lots of fun and creative things you can do to raise money. Encourage friends or family to get involved, too, so it becomes a worthwhile way of spending time together.
