Are you a bit like Kylie Minogue and can’t get that one thought or worry out of your head? Try these tips to stop ruminating.
Have you ever found yourself thinking about something and you just can’t get it out of your head? Whatever you do, the thought just keeps repeating itself over and over again, swirling around – and just when you forget it for a moment, it comes back. If so, you aren’t alone. What you’re doing is something called ruminating.
Much like cows and other ruminating animals, who regurgitate their previously consumed food and chew it further, ‘ruminating’ in humans means continuously dwelling on the same thoughts or worries. Not being able to shake them can be annoying and it’s usually tricky to get out of this cycle. (Imagine how hard it is to try to get rid of an earworm stuck in your head!)
Often, the thoughts or worries are about things that might seem trivial to others, but you find troubling. You might even recognise that the problems aren’t important but still can’t stop thinking about them.
It could be you’re anxious about something that’s going to happen, such as a test or a presentation. It might be a friend’s comment that’s upset you.
Sometimes ruminating can be beneficial if you quickly find a solution to the issue whirling in your head and manage to break the thought loop. But occasionally, when people can’t break the cycle, it can make them unhappy and they spend too much time worrying about things.
If you realise you’re ruminating, it’s important to try to stop as soon as you can, as otherwise your brain might feel overloaded. But how can you do that when your mind is so busy worrying? These eight ideas might help:
1. Distract your mind
Find something else to break the cycle. Think of a task you could do that requires a lot of attention and will occupy your mind instead, such as chatting to a friend, singing, reading a book, or watching a film. Pay close attention to the words or action to ensure you don’t get distracted back into dwelling on that one thing.
2. Exercise
Often, a quick walk, run, or cycle could help you shake your thoughts or process the issue that’s proving troublesome. Exercise boosts feel-good endorphins and can help to clear thoughts and put things into perspective. Some claim they solve many problems while exercising, so give it a go and see if it works for you.
3. Try to relax
Meditation can also help reduce rumination. By calming your mind, you’ll be more likely to clarify whirling worries and either resolve the issue you’re thinking about or let it go. Focus on your breathing if you’re feeling stressed. Try breathing in for the count of four, hold for four, and breathe out for four. Doing this a few times can aid relaxation and might help you see a path forward.
4. Write it down
Whatever’s plaguing your mind, write it down. This can help to get it out of your system. Also, seeing it in black and white might show you that it is not as important as you think. Once you’ve done this, you might want to make a plan about how to address the issue and move forward.
5. Talk to someone
Chat through your worry with a close and trusted friend or a guardian. They might give you a different perspective and enable you to see the problem isn’t as significant as you first imagined. Many people regularly ruminate about things, so don’t be afraid to ask for help or another viewpoint.
6. Consider the big picture
Answer these questions – how will the things you’re thinking about affect you in a year’s time? Five years? For example, will it matter that you didn’t get a good grade in this one test if you do better next time? In five years’ time, will it matter what a friend said yesterday? This can help you put your thoughts into perspective and spend more time enjoying life rather than worrying.
7. Focus on the positives
Often when people ruminate, they focus on negative things. To combat this, take time to find positive ones. Make a list of people, places, sayings, or events that make you happy and look back at these things when you start thinking negatively. For example, while a friend might have upset you, think of compliments you’ve received or times when people have appreciated what you’ve done for them.
8. Learn to let go
This is easier said than done but find the method that works for you and use it in future when your mind becomes restless. Take confidence from the fact you know how to control your thoughts if they get too busy in your brain.
If it gets too intense, however, always seek help from a school counsellor or doctor. Remember – everyone will have bad days, face problems, make mistakes and have regrets. Everyone worries about something. But ruminating takes time and energy that you could be using to do something enjoyable, so instead of worrying, try to focus on positives instead. You’ll be surprised at how much of a difference it makes.
Words: Donna Findlay
