Find out how to nurture your friendships to create a long and happy relationship.
They’ll laugh with you, cry with you and join you on adventures. Friends made at school are there to enjoy exciting experiences, to share nerves about tests and exams and be there to support you through the highs and lows. Of course, friends come in different guises. Some will share your interests while others will have views you might find challenging. What’s important is that you can count on them to be there when you need help and that you’re happy to do the same for them.
A SENSE OF SECURITY
It can sometimes feel like it’s a big scary world out there, but friends give you the confidence to face new or difficult situations. Just having a good friend next to you is enough to keep the nerves at bay and leave you feeling calm and relaxed. Not sure how to behave when meeting someone for the first time, or what to say? The reassurance that a friend is by your side can give you the courage you need.
A SOURCE OF INFORMATION
The adults in your life might know a lot, but they may not know a lot about YOUR life if you don’t share all the details with them. Some friends, however, can read you like an open book. Then again, if you share all your news and innermost thoughts with each other that’s hardly a surprise. Together you can discuss and debate and learn more about yourselves. Friends can offer valuable advice too, so make sure you try to listen to them.
SCIENTISTS AGREE
No one makes you laugh quite like your friends. They put you at ease and bring the best (and silliest) side out of you. Research has shown that friendships have a huge impact on wellbeing, proving what you probably knew all along – spending more time with friends is one of the secrets to happiness.
YOU’VE FOUND A TRUE FRIEND WHEN…
- You can talk about everything and anything
Being able to discuss everything, from celebrity crushes to a crisis of confidence, is a great stress relief as you can share your deepest secrets without the fear of being criticised or judged. Honesty and trust are key in this privileged relationship, so much so that if a best friend comments on your new oufit you won’t be (that) offended. That’s how much you respect their opinion.
- They’re always there for you
A best friend is usually the first person you turn to when things are bad. Your problems are their problems and they support you like nobody else will. They even have the ability to make you laugh when times are tough. Best friends see you at your best and worst, and accept you the way you are.
HOW TO CONNECT WITH NEW FRIENDS
Get involved
Building close friendships isn’t always easy, but one of the best ways to meet people is through extracurricular activities. Join a club or group that focuses on an activity you enjoy and you’re likely to find people who share similar interests (see page 46). Having something in common is a great start for any relationship as it’s easier to interact, learn what they think and connect more quickly.
BE APPROACHABLE You may not realise it, but body language is important when trying to meet new people. Avoiding eye contact and crossing your arms gives the impression you’re closed off and not interested whereas a smile is an open door to a new friendship. Similarly, observe other people’s body language. Do they lean towards you when you talk, nod their head in agreement with what you’re saying? If so, they may be a potential new friend.
Start chatting
Good friendships can take time. You need to get to really know each other, build up trust and share experiences. If you feel a connection with a person you meet and want to engage in a conversation, you could begin by complimenting them. Saying something nice about what they’re wearing or doing is a great icebreaker.
