April Hélène-Horton, also famed as ‘The Bodzilla’ on Instagram, is the vibrant proponent for body positivity, acceptance, and celebration who shook up billboard stereotypes with her modelling work for Curvy Swimwear, and has been making a name for herself in music videos, television appearances, and projects aimed at celebrating what makes us all uniquely beautiful, regardless of our backgrounds.
HI HONEY,
Where you are, it’s the year 2000 and everyone’s worried about the Y2K millennium bug, which from where I am is pretty funny. I’m writing to you from 2021 – can you believe that? How cool is it that you just did your first school play, and now you’re going to do some more acting with the local theatre society? I’m so glad you found some friends in that crowd. I remember how intimidated you were – the minute you got up; you were so aware of your size… having a ‘big voice’ kind of feels like it’s to match your body.
I know sometimes you feel really sad, because heaps of the people you go to school with make you feel bad about yourself. You know, you need to stop saying mean things to yourself, too – even if you think it’s true, it’s not good for your brain. I actually know for sure that none of the mean stuff you say to yourself is true, but I don’t expect you to believe ME. I’m 36 now, which is basically ancient and totally out of touch.
I know you think times aren’t going to change and you’re going to feel unlovable for the rest of your life. Unloved and unlovable in the ways you’ve read about in books. Speaking of books, I really think it’s best to avoid those Twilight ones… they’re only going to make you think the crappy way you get treated in the future is normal and you should put up with it.
Anyway – let me tell you some cool things! I know you want to fall in love and have kids and do all the things that people on TV do – and I have great news! You have done some of the things you’ve seen on TV… You’ve learned how to drive and cook; you’re in love with someone who’s super funny and nice, and you even have a cute baby.
BUT: that’s not the great news.
The great news is that you’re doing what you’ve always wanted to do – you’re creating performance art, you’re writing, you’ve got a job working with cool people and you still laugh a lot. Some days less than others, because things are pretty weird in the 2020s… but most days you can find things to laugh about.
Something you’ve learned is how to accept who you are – in all the ways. You know how sometimes you wish you could just be more like those people who never say anything and seem really smart? Yeah, you can’t – and that’s OK, because it means people get to know you easily and figure out if they like you. And not everybody does… that’s a hard one to swallow, but it’s OK. Really. You’re still best friends with so many of the people you love, and some AMAZING new friends are coming your way, too.
You’re going to have some really tough times, girl, I can’t lie (we really have never been good at it!), but you’re going to come through them with some lessons you’ll never forget.
You might be thinking that all of this has happened because you’ve changed yourself, your body, that you’ve shrunk into the clothes from those shops you usually walk past.
Maybe you’re going to be a bit disappointed when I tell you that you’re still fat… but let me tell you: there’s nothing wrong with that, and now you know it!
You’re going to be someone other people look up to, and you’re going to do things you NEVER imagined you would. You’re going to wear swimmers in public without a cover-up (I can’t WAIT for you to see yourself; you’re going to be so thrilled!). You’ll go on TV, radio – so many things, but I don’t want to spoil the surprises.
The most important thing you need to do right now is keep going and hold onto those people who already make you feel like the funny, smart person you are. Being a teenager sucks most of the time, for everyone, but somehow, we all think it’s just us. I promise it’s not – and I promise it gets better.
SO MUCH BETTER.
LOVE ALWAYS, APRIL XO
